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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26335444">Why are you like this?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/themarginalartist/pseuds/themarginalartist'>themarginalartist</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Gordon is AI too [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>HLVRAI - Fandom, Half-Life, Half-Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>absolute chaos, pure shenanigans</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 02:42:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,407</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26335444</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/themarginalartist/pseuds/themarginalartist</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Some moments of the chaos Mel and Jay bring to Gordon and the Science team post-game. Really just domestic stuff... As domestic as Jay and Mel can be. </p>
<p>[This contains no spoilers for Gordon’s In Control, Right? or other future fics ;)]</p>
<p>————<br/>An anon prompt from Tumblr!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Gordon is AI too [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1913683</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>40</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Why are you like this?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hey! So got a prompt for some Jay + Mel shenanigans, and I can’t say no to my babies being absolute terrors on Gordon and the Science team’s sanity (mostly Gordon’s).</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Gordon woke up with a start to the sound of shouting and a loud crash of something plastic hitting the floor. He’s quick to run out of his room and skids in his socks nearly face planting on the hardwood floor. He’s joined shortly after by the rest of the team and is sleepy brain finally catches up to taking in the situation. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Mel and Jay were on the floor, a tangled mass of limbs and squawks of protests. Both slinging insults and calling each other names as both try and reach for the tv remote. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Jay you’ve been fucking watching all night, asshat!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m in the middle of my Steven Universe marathon! Back off, motherfucker!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No more Steven! Shut it off!” Mel suddenly backs up from Jay with a shriek. “Why the FUCK did you just lick me?!” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“To do this hah!” Jay kicks out and snags the remote which ignites Mel to get up and tackle them again. “Let go! Let go! Let go!” Jay squirms trying to play keep away. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Never!” Mel snarls, arms wrapped around Jay’s throat as they ride Jay’s back. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon finally snaps into motion, the rest of the team unsure of what to make of the situation in front of them, quickly swiping the remote from Jay’s hand, depositing it on the little side table before whipping around and yanking Mel off of Jay, holding both of them by their hoodies.  “The television is not something we scream bloody murder over this early in the morning.” Gordon growls out, Jay looks away a bit ashamed but Mel simply glares at Gordon.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Let go.” Mel suddenly tries to wiggle out of Gordon’s grasp making Gordon sweep their leg and destabilize them before pulling Mel into an awkward semi hug to get a better hold on them. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Dude Mel’s just gonna be pissy for a while.” Jay says suddenly taking on a bored tone. “Just put them in their room.” Mel attempts to kick Jay’s shins but is maneuvered away by Gordon. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Let me fight! I wanna fight!” Mel hisses at Gordon who’s now let go of Jay in favor of trying to get Mel to stop squirming like some kind of fish. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hah sucker.” Jay grins before diving to the couch and taking the remote to turn up the volume and sing along to the theme song now playing. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Fucker.” Mel snarls before finally stilling. “Let me go, Gordon.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No? I won’t!? What the fuck was all of that?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s cause it’s Mel’s turn to pay the electricity bill and they don’t want me to make it be too much.” Jay snickers from the couch before dissolving into cackling.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I hate you and you will breath your last breath if the bill is over $150 this month.” Mel snaps. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon just stares at Mel like they’ve grown two heads. “...Seriously what the fuck Mel.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I thirst for blood, Gordon.” Mel says way too calmly which makes Gordon’s anxiety spike. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Can you thirst for- for orange juice instead?” Tommy suddenly asks with a glass of the liquid in hand. The science team apparently deemed Jay and Mel to be Gordon’s problem and had started making breakfast. Great teamwork everyone.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“...An acceptable substitution.” Mel nods, attempting to reach for the glass but still trapped by Gordon. “Uh... Leggo?” They tap his arm. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No killing Jay.” Gordon says simply, not letting go yet. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“They are allowed to breath for at least this next twenty four hour period.” Mel says. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“...”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Gordon oh my god I’m not actually going to kill Jay.” Mel whines. “I want my juice!” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon let’s Mel go wordlessly, letting them scramble to Tommy and take the juice thanking him with a happy smile like they didn’t try and strangle Jay mere minutes ago, joining Bubby by the coffee pot and taking a full mug of black coffee and chugging it. It’s far too early for this shit.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>“M-mister Freeman?” Tommy appears in Gordon’s doorway, anxiously looking over his shoulder. “Have- have you seen Mel?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No?” Gordon looks over from his book. “What’s up?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“N-nothing... Just haven’t seen them in a while...”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh sup bro. Just been chilling here.” Mel suddenly speaks from behind Gordon making him shriek and launch out of the bed he had been lying on. Mel was leaning against the opposite side of the bed. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Mel what the fuck!?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Was hiding from Jay and took a nap.” Mel shrugs. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“In my room?!” Gordon has his hand over his chest as he wills his heart to beat slower. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah?” Mel frowns and stands up. “Jay wouldn’t think to look in here.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Just don’t use my room in the future.” Gordon groans. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Sure.” Mel shrugs and heads out of the room to go to her own, the quiet that had fallen is quickly pierced by a shriek and thump. “God dammit, Jay!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Took you long enough. Take me shopping.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Noooooooo.” Mel whines. Gordon just pinches the bridge of his nose and counts backwards from ten. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p><br/>Mel had convinced Gordon to take a walk outside, something very normal, which honestly made Gordon very suspicious. It wasn’t until they were well away from the house that Mel suddenly grinned. “Gordon, wanna help me with something?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“...What kind of something?” He squints slightly.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“A little prank on Jay and the science team? I wanna swap all the salt and sugar and hide the big sugar container.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“...Why?” Gordon raised an eyebrow. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Cause it’ll be funny.” Mel grins deviously. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“...You know what... Sure, why the hell not?” Gordon grins, smile only growing wider as Mel cackles with delight. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You are now my partner in crime! This is going to be hilarious!” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon couldn’t help but laugh as well. When they got back they managed to convince Jay and the rest of the science team to go shopping, and once gone they couldn’t help but giggle while they committed their salt and sugar swapping crime. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The fruits of their labor were gained the next day when Bubby went to make coffee and went through a whole pot of coffee trying to figure out why it was salty. But both Mel and Gordon didn’t break just yet, they had to keep their poker faces on to get more of the team. Coomer was also got by the coffee as well. Benrey found that his lunch was way too sweet, having made a ham sandwich and wondering why it tasted weird. Mel at least took pity on Tommy and whispered to him before he put way too much salt in his cake batter. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Jay’s reaction was what truly broke them from their poker faces. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Jay had been there for the salty coffee, but missed the sweet ham and cake save. So when they went to make some food Mel didn’t spare a glance, knowing that their ratios were all botched because of the swap. It took all their effort not to giggle. Gordon was hanging by a thread as well, especially when Jay called out for sharing the pancakes they’d made. Mel and Gordon stayed on the couch, joined by Tommy as they watched the rest of the team take their first bites of the salty pancakes. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh my god what the fuck these are disgusting.”  Jay immediately spits out the pancake and covers it with a napkin. Coomer and Bubby are quick to put down the bites they had. Benrey keeps chewing but eventually also spits it out, tongue getting scraped before drinking some milk. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Mel barely suppresses a snort. “Oh? Something wrong?” She tries to feign innocence. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t get it? I know I put in the right amount of stuff?” Jay looks very confused and tries to retrace their steps in their mind. Gordon fails to stifle a giggle making Jay squint at him. “...You know something...” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Nope!” Gordon says with forced cheerfulness. “Just found your faces funny.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Jay squints even more, slowly standing and going to the sugar and salt containers. “...You guys didn’t...” They frown and get a bit of ‘sugar’ only to make a face. “Mel! What the fuck?!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Pranked!” Mel cackles in glee flopping onto Gordon, Gordon breaking moments after her as they laugh at Jay and the rest of the team (excluding Tommy who’s politely trying not to laugh) stare at them. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Mel, Gordon, both of you are dead.” Jay says venomously. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t believe they can hear you.” Coomer sighs watching Mel and Gordon laugh their heads off.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>May do more sampling of shenanigans in the future! But thanks for reading! :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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